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March 24th, 2008

Why I Might Just Be the Man of Your Dreams…

I’ve been telling the ladies all along that I’m the best man that any woman could hope to marry.  However, most of the time they just point and laugh at me. No matter how much I tell the ladies that I’m the dude they should be interested in, they just don’t hang around. Don’t get me wrong, all women love me (I am the Big Mexican Dinner, after all). However, even though all women love the Big Mexican Dinner, most of them get their fill of the Chalupa and are done…I guess I’m just too spicy. So, in spite of my best efforts…things just haven’t worked out for me in the past.

Fortunately, now I have science to back my claim that women should pay me more attention (especially the hot ones). Apparently, studies show that when the man is uglier than the woman in a relationship, the couple is a lot happier than when the male is the more attractive partner. The study uses some lame explanation about how men care about looks and women just care that the man isn’t shooting blanks.

The truth is probably not far off, except in reality men care about boobs and women care about money…but who am I to tell the author he’s wrong? Especially since I stand to gain the most from him being right. So, ladies…come get your ugly right here! I mean, seriously, who are we to argue with SCIENCE? Giddyup!

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3 comments to Why I Might Just Be the Man of Your Dreams…

  • Dougie

    You’ve always been the man of MY dreams, sweetie!

  • That explains a lot to me.

    I let myself go to shit — get all scruffy and mean looking. Put on weight. Work a lot of overtime. Stockpile tons of cash.

    I meet a really nice (or hot, or nice and hot) girl. I start to clean up my act. I spend money on her till I’m broke. She loses interest!

    Lesson learned. Be a scruffy and stingy jackass.

  • J. Lee

    Funny we were discussing this topic last night. A guy was talking about how he posts his honest nice self and no one shows interest. He posts himself as some creepy jackass and he’s mobbed. Of course without these women, Lifetime would have no programming.

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