This is NOT going to be good!!

Up until this point, the invasion had been going great.  I had been sitting in the Pit of Despair for hours…perhaps even a full day at this point. It was dark due to the canvas flaps being closed. I was working with some “sensitive” stuff and needed to keep it hidden from prying eyes. However, I could see the daylight shining through the one hole that I had to talk to the guys up front.

I could hear Mike and Chad talking, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I was listening to the overwhelming static on the radio. This static was good news. It meant that the bad guys probably weren’t around…and if they were, they weren’t fighting back. As miserable as the pit of despair was, it meant that I could nap off and on, and I didn’t have to drive. The guys in the front were supposed to stay awake at all times…they had to drive and watch for bad guys. If I felt like napping, I would just turn the radio volume up and close my eyes. If there was any radio traffic the break in squelch would wake me. It was a small benefit for a fat man crammed in a tight space.

 “Cisco!” Chad said, “Hey…are you awake?” I lied, “Sure, what’s up?” He said, “I think I have to take a shit.” Oh, this doesn’t sound good… “Why are you telling me this?” I asked. He responded, “Because, I don’t think we’re going to stop again long enough for me to go. So, I have to go while we’re moving. I need to get back there.” I said, “Man, there isn’t any room back here!” He replied, “We’ll, not for sitting…but I can stand up…the roof is tall enough for me to squat…I need to shit…we really have to switch places soon!”

I couldn’t believe it. The one place they didn’t want to be was my Pit of Despair…and now Chad was kicking me out so he could shit there. I said, “What are you going to shit IN? Because I know you’re not just going to shit on my seat!!!” He replied, “I have an MRE bag, I can hold it open and shit in it. I’ve done it before, it’ll be fine.” THIS is NOT going to be good!