There is an old proverb that says you shouldn’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Well, I have small feet (6.5 extra wide…they’re like a little square…..Lego Man Feet), so I wouldn’t do well to put on some other dude’s big ass shoes. It’s hard to walk in shoes that are too big. Besides, I don’t even like walking long distances (or short ones for that matter) in my own shoes. So, instead I just try to imagine what someone else is thinking, and try to look at life from their perspective.

          Blogger’s Note: Before one of you guys starts telling me that this proverb is a metaphor and isn’t to be taken literally, just stop now…because inevitably, I would respond with “NO SHIT, Asshole! Please read the title of this post.”

Anyway, recently I have been imagining what the general public as a whole has been thinking. When I do, I can’t help but imagine that most people are walking around stupid. This is something that I imagine they are very aware of, but are trying desperately to hide from others. In fact, the thing that I imagine most people are thinking is, “Do other people know I’m this dumb?” The answer is yes.

Now, I suspect many of you would say, “Yeah, people are generally stupid, but I’m not like them.” You’re not fooling anyone. Collectively we’re freakin’ an idiotic society. Now, I would never make such a sweeping generalization without evidence, so I have compiled a list of proof that you’re stupid…

1. The Emperor’s New Fence: What I mean by this is the “Virtual Fence” that the government is spending MILLIONS of YOUR tax dollars on to secure our border from the evil Mexicans. On 28 February 2008, the government announced that the “High-Tech Barrier” (WTF?) was being delayed because the 28-mile pilot program didn’t work as planned. Read the article in the link for more details. When I first heard of this idea a few years ago, I couldn’t help but think of the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale and wonder if there would be a child brave enough to cry out, “But there’s nothing there!”

2. Homegrown Paranoia: I’m referring to H.R. 1955 which was passed by the House of Representatives on 27 October 2007. Since you’re stupid, you won’t read it, so I’ll simply give you an idea of what this does by quoting the modern-day patriot, Ron Paul. “This legislation focuses the weight of the U.S. government inward toward its own citizens under the guise of protecting us against “violent radicalization.” ” Read his whole speech to the House of Representatives here.

3. Airborne: No, I don’t mean those soldiers that jump out of airplanes (though, one might argue that jumping out of airplanes is pretty stupid too). I am referring to the herbal product that so many idiots have bought over the past 7 years to fight off germs and colds. The product advertises that it was “Created by a School Teacher”. Now, the logic behind this apparently stems from the fact that kids are always sick, so teachers get sick a lot, and this teacher was sick of it. To me, this is just idiotic. The whole gimmick falls flat. If you want creditability, why doesn’t it say, “Created by a Doctor Who Knows What the Hell He’s Talking About”? Anyway, if you were stupid (which you are) and bought this shit, you get a do-over…read here about the $23 Million in refunds that the company has agreed to pay.

4. Celebrity News and Gossip: No links this time. Because, you’re stupid, and  you’ll probably want to read them. The bottom line here is that you probably know more about what Brittney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, or the Olsen Twins did last year, than you do about the positions of the presidential candidates that the media chose for you. You are also probably keenly aware that Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger, and Gary Gygax are dead. You may even be aware that dead is permanent, but you still watch and read about them in the news constantly.

I’m sick of this shit…